When someone mentions depression, many people immediately picture overwhelming sadness or endless tears. But here’s what I’ve learned in my 19 years as a therapist: depression is like a complex mosaic, with pieces that look completely different from person to person. Some pieces might be sadness, yes—but others might be numbness, exhaustion, irritability, or even physical pain that doctors can’t quite explain.
Understanding this complexity isn’t just important—it’s revolutionary. Because when we expand our view of what depression can look like, we create space for more people to see themselves clearly, seek the support they deserve, and begin weaving those fragmented pieces into something whole and beautiful again.
Beyond the Stereotype: Depression Has Many Faces
In my practice at Mosaic Bloom, I’ve sat with countless people who’ve said, “I don’t think I’m really depressed because I’m not crying all the time.” This breaks my heart because it shows how narrow our cultural understanding still is.
Depression manifests differently for each person. Some folks describe feeling emotionally numb or empty rather than sad. Others experience persistent irritability—everything and everyone gets on their nerves in ways that feel completely unlike their usual selves. Many people tell me they feel like they’re watching their life through glass, present but somehow disconnected from everything that once mattered.
The condition often shows up in our bodies too. Chronic headaches, digestive issues, unexplained aches and pains, changes in appetite—these physical symptoms are just as real and valid as emotional ones. Our minds and bodies aren’t separate; they’re intimately connected, especially when we’re struggling.
The Weight of Invisible Struggles
One of the most misunderstood aspects of depression is how it affects our energy and motivation. Simple tasks that once felt automatic—getting out of bed, showering, responding to a text—can suddenly require enormous effort. This isn’t laziness or weakness. This is your brain working differently, and it deserves the same understanding we’d give any other medical condition.
I often tell my clients that depression can feel like someone poured molasses through your brain and body—everything moves slower, thoughts get sticky and hard to pull apart, and even the simplest actions require so much more effort than they should. This is particularly true for folks who are also navigating systemic oppression, discrimination, or trauma. When society consistently sends messages that certain identities are less valuable, that weight adds up in our nervous systems.
When Society’s Messages Become Our Inner Voice
Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: depression doesn’t exist in a vacuum. The society we live in—with its racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of oppression—directly impacts our mental health. When you’re constantly having to prove your worth, defend your right to exist, or hide parts of yourself to stay safe, that chronic stress takes a toll.
I’ve worked with so many people whose depression is tangled up with experiences of discrimination, rejection from family due to their identity, or trauma related to being marginalized. These aren’t just “social issues”—they’re mental health issues that deserve to be addressed with the same care and attention we give to any other contributing factor.
The Healing Power of Being Truly Seen
This is where the magic of therapy—the right kind of therapy—comes in. In my work, I’ve witnessed the profound healing that happens when someone feels truly seen, safe, and affirmed for exactly who they are. Not tolerated, not just accepted, but genuinely celebrated as part of the beautiful diversity of human experience.
The therapeutic relationship itself can be medicine. When you find a space where your identity isn’t just acknowledged but treasured, where your experiences are validated within their full context—including the social and political realities you navigate—that’s where real healing begins.
Making Sense of the Pieces: EMDR and Internal Family Systems
Two approaches I use frequently are EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Internal Family Systems (IFS), and here’s why they’re so powerful for depression:
EMDR helps us process those fragmented pieces that feel stuck in our nervous system. Maybe it’s a specific trauma, or maybe it’s the accumulated weight of countless smaller experiences that taught you to dim your light. EMDR helps your brain file these experiences away properly so they stop showing up as depression, anxiety, or other symptoms in your daily life.
IFS recognizes that we all have different parts of ourselves—and sometimes these parts are in conflict. You might have a part that wants to take care of everyone else, another part that’s furious about always putting yourself last, and another part that’s just exhausted from the whole dance. Depression often happens when these parts get overwhelmed or when we’ve had to push certain parts into hiding to survive.
Both approaches honor the complexity of your experience while helping you weave those pieces together in a way that feels whole and authentic.
Recognizing Your Own Mosaic
Depression symptoms can develop gradually, making them easy to dismiss as “just stress” or “having a rough patch.” Here are some signs to watch for:
- Persistent changes in sleep, appetite, or energy
- Loss of interest in things that usually bring you joy
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions (that brain fog is real!)
- Feeling worthless or carrying excessive guilt
- Thoughts of death or suicide
Remember, experiencing some of these occasionally is human—especially during stressful times. But when multiple symptoms stick around for weeks or start interfering with your daily life, that’s your cue to reach out for support.
The Intersection of Identity and Mental Health
If you’re someone whose identity has been marginalized—whether due to race, gender, sexuality, class, ability, or other factors—your depression might carry additional layers. You might be dealing with:
- Internalized messages about your worth
- Trauma from discrimination or rejection
- The exhaustion of code-switching or masking parts of yourself
- Grief over opportunities lost due to systemic barriers
- Hypervigilance from having to constantly assess safety
These experiences are real, they matter, and they absolutely belong in conversations about your mental health. Healing happens when we address the whole picture, not just individual symptoms in isolation.
Weaving Broken Pieces into Something Beautiful
Here’s what I want you to know: every piece of your experience—even the painful, fragmented ones—has a place in your life’s mosaic. Depression isn’t a character flaw or a sign that you’re broken beyond repair. It’s often a signal that some parts of your story need attention, care, and integration.
Recovery rarely looks like going back to who you were before. Instead, it’s about discovering who you’re becoming when you have space to breathe, when you feel safe to be authentic, when you’re supported in ways that honor your full humanity.
Finding Your People
Healing happens in relationship—with a therapist, yes, but also with community, chosen family, and spaces where you can show up as your whole self. If you’re struggling, please know that support exists. Not everyone will understand your experience, but the right people will. The right therapist will.
Look for providers who explicitly affirm your identity, who understand trauma within its social context, who see your strength rather than just your symptoms. Trust your instincts about whether someone feels safe and genuinely celebrates who you are.
Your Mosaic Is Still Being Created
Mental health conditions are treatable, and recovery is possible. More than that—you deserve support, understanding, and care. You deserve to feel at home in your own skin and to have your experiences honored within their full context.
If you’re reading this and recognizing yourself, please consider reaching out. Whether to a trusted friend, a mental health professional, or a crisis support service, taking that step is an act of courage and self-love. Your mosaic is still being created, and every piece—including this one—has the potential to contribute something beautiful to the whole.
Remember: you’re not broken. You’re human, navigating a complex world, and you deserve support in weaving your pieces together in a way that feels authentic, whole, and uniquely yours.